


All and Everything Has Changed

by Taste_of_Suburbia



Category: Z Nation (TV)
Genre: Angst, Community: femslashficlets, Dreams, F/F, Family, Friendship, Guilt, Loss of Trust, Post-Season/Series 01, Pre-Slash, Romance, fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 09:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6232540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taste_of_Suburbia/pseuds/Taste_of_Suburbia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You left,” Cassandra insisted. “We fought for you, but you didn’t fight for us.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	All and Everything Has Changed

**Author's Note:**

> Written for femslashficlets for prompt #050 remainder (#047 - fight). 
> 
> Post-Season 1. 
> 
> _Soundtrack:_ Title and Lyrics are from Theatre of Tragedy’s ‘Fade’

 

_~And I fade, like the dew before the sun_

_In the silence of our ceased memories_

_In our dreams, everything is just the same_

_Withering motions_ _…~_

* * *

 

“You left,” Cassandra insisted. “We fought for you, but you didn’t fight for us.”

Cassandra wasn’t usually outspoken. Trying to get Addy away from the Sisters of Mercy alongside Roberta was evidence that Cassandra had already trusted them, had already become family. Now, Addy couldn’t help but feel like the other girl had taken her place, and _she_ was the one who no longer fit in.

And why should they take her back? She had turned her back on her only friends - her only _family_ \- for safety and security, for people she honestly thought could look after her. Garnet had _died_ and Doc had just about died and they needed her and she just up and left, without looking back. Who the hell had she even been in that place? And how the hell could she convince Cassandra that she had her back… _always?_

Addy opened her mouth but it was like she was caught in some nightmare. No words came out no matter how much she wanted them to, and she wondered whether it was because she knew they weren’t the right ones. Maybe it was better she didn’t say anything at all but _act_ instead. She had been hiding away all this time, trying to live in some delusional pre-zombie apocalypse world when since the dawn of time paradise would always lose, one way or another. She had been the sucker to think she was entitled to a slice of it.

So, what next? She moves on to having Cassandra’s back and saving her a few times, but that’s what all of them are doing anyway, and it’s not like one of them saves more of their asses than another. She could try, yet if she gets too gung-ho over it then maybe she’ll go too far and get herself killed. Still, Addy laid awake most nights wondering just how she was supposed to make amends. They always said that time heals all wounds, but none of them exactly _had_ any time when it was the end of the world and all, when there was more than a fifty-percent chance that one or more of them wouldn’t be there tomorrow.

Which had Addy deciding that it was time to act… _now._

She grabbed Cassandra’s hand before she walked away. Cassandra turned, glaring at her for a long moment before Addy took a deep breath like she was about to hold her breath for three minutes. “I _will_ fight for you,” she stressed. “That’s never changed. Out here, out in the real world, I have _always_ got your back. You don’t have to believe me, you don’t even have to believe in _us._ _”_ She squeezed Cassandra’s hand and the other girl’s eyes became softer, and it almost made Addy believe that she never left at all, that they’d always been in this _together._ Addy kissed the back of Cassandra’s hand, then reached forward to tuck Cassandra’s hair behind her ear. “You just have to trust me.”

That was what it boiled down to after all.

Until Addison woke up and realized that the moment might not have happened at all.

Cassandra’s freaky yet disoriented gold eyes peered down at her, and Addy wanted to take her hand like she had in the dream, tell her that everything was gonna be okay, that she was back and she wasn’t leaving again, wouldn’t ever try to trade anything for _this._

Cassandra lost interest and left to stand guard over Murphy, and just like that Addison Carver knew that her changing had changed everything and everyone else too.

**FIN**


End file.
